So on Saturday morning I was closing a door in my house. I accidentally cut my thumb on the latch. A tiny nick, it barely bled. So why am I mentioning this to you, well it happened to what I call my bad hand. It’s the side I had my lymph node clearance. When it happened I was just gutted as I knew this would be the cause of a dreaded Anxiety episode. My thumb was so sore, for such a little cut it ached and throbbed. But the real problem was what was happening in my head.
Although I am petrified of it I haven’t really educated myself too much about Lymphoedema. So of course the little bit I do know about it scares me so much. My arm has a dull pain in it and the thumb is still sore which I am sure should have subsided by now. I have visions of my arm swelling up beyond my control. Yet how could I justify going to the doctor, its a tiny little cut, I really don’t want to feel foolish or like a hypochondriac. All of my symptoms could be perfectly normal, my arm could be stiff from the amount of weights I lift and all of the exercise I do. My cut on my thumb could still be sore because I keep pressing on it to check it. But what has struck me about this is how I am reacting to something which is only a little cut and also how anxious I feel yet how I don’t want to go to my GP and waste his time but still I have a sore arm eekkkk what do I do. Is this what life is going to be like forever, always on edge, I’m gonna have to have a word with myself and figure out a way of coping better.
I spoke to Fiona today and I asked her if she ever has pain in her bad side arm after having her surgery. Well its okay I’m not mental she was feeling pretty much the same as me. She did lots of house work and was paying the price with pain in her arm and back on her bad side. Not that I was happy to hear Fi Fi was in pain but phew the relief that I am not the only one who was worried about their bad side and feeling silly about it. She even said she was glad I asked as she had been worrying about her self. Then we had a bitch and a moan about this constant reminder of Breast Cancer.
I also asked the girls on my page if they had ever got Lymphoedema and how was it treated. There was a few girls who had been affected and most had it under control. That made me sad for them to think after having Breast Cancer and to come out the other side then to have this condition inflicted on them, which as far as I can see and correct me if I am wrong, isn’t discussed very much nor does there seem to be much support and information readily available for people who have it.
There is a Irish support group for people affected by Lymphoedema its called Lymphoedema Ireland I don’t know too much about it but here is the link if any of you want to check it out http://www.lymphireland.com
So for any of you girls who are worried about a ache or a pain and you are starting to panic but feeling silly – join the club you aren’t silly its just part of the course it seems to happen to us all. You are more than welcome to contact me if you want to know if I have ever experienced the pain or sensation you are having if I can help at all I would be more than happy to.
#breastcancer #lymphoedema #breastcancerawareness
