I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve posted here, to be honest since Christmas I have lost my mojo. Just after Christmas I got flu, bronchitis, sinus infection and chest infection. Girls I was flattened. I am only back right this week, for some reason I couldn’t shake the worn out feeling raging through my body. I missed the gym for a whole month and that is not me at all but I had to listen to my body and rest up. I’m wasn’t the only one in our house struck down everyone had it and Tom and Rhys are still barking
Usually I launch into a New Year full of hopes and promises this year I was more MEHHHHHH than anything else, I even said to myself I would start 2018 on the 1st of Feb but I still wasn’t feeling it. I’ve decided I will go hell for leather for Lent give up lots of stuff , set myself a few goals and get myself back on track, so I think I’m back to my crazy self.
All of the time off work and down time I had set me thinking, in fact I think it could have flung me into a mini mid-life crisis lol ! I wanted to change jobs, do courses, actually I don’t know my arse from my elbow these days! Have any of you girls noticed how after having Breast Cancer you want to change your direction in life and what you were happy to do prior to being sick doesn’t float your boat any more. Well that’s exactly the space I’m in right now. I think my priorities are all over the place at the moment. I guess when you are hit with a life threatening illness you realise how time can be cut short and that you really don’t have time to waste just settling. I find myself intent on cramming life in just so I don’t waste a precious second.
I think even in relationships / friendships etc. things you would have accepted before you were sick you just don’t tolerate anymore, I also think you are more mindful of making an effort with people. It’s only when you sit back and think about what you have been through and the fight you have in yourself that you do gain a bit more respect for yourself. When I speak to girls who for example are single and have had Breast Cancer, they feel really unsure as to whether cupid with strike for them again. Breast Cancer is probably one illness that attacks your feminity and confidence more than any other. You are stripped bare, your identity lost almost. But in this attack there is a lesson to be learned, your inner beauty can shine, the real you that may have been masked will emerge. Having Breast Cancer will not stop you going on to have a wonderful relationship. There are good guys out there. If you go on a date with someone and they back off when they hear you have been ill , great ! – having Breast Cancer has done you a favour its removed the asshole quicker. When I was going through my Breast Cancer I viewed it as a temporary situation a bump in the road. I was single, but went on dates. Having Breast Cancer however really wised me up, I probably accepted less than I deserved in the past but regaining my health thought me that life was too short to be wasting it. Was I nervous getting into a new relationship yes of course, was I self-conscious – definitely but has it all worked out YES and had I over thought and worried unnecessarily most definitely.
When you worry that love won’t make its way to you, or you are not feeling attractive, take a good look in the mirror, think about how you have dealt with what has been thrown at you, think of what a little fighter you are and then think of how lucky the man that bags you will be !!!!
In friendships Breast Cancer will open your eyes to how good people can be. Unfortunately you will lose a few along the way but the ones who stick with you are keepers and the whole experience will only make your friendships stronger. I have had people contact me both men and women asking how they can be there for their friend / partner while going through BC. I always think how lovely it is for the person to have people that care so much that they actually try to seek out advice as to how best help their friend through difficult times.
Anyways I went totally off track there I guess what I am trying to say is put yourself on a pedestal, go for what you want and loose what you don’t, we all deserve THE BEST xxx
